For example, if you and your boyfriend are still pretty casual, and sex is light and fun, it’s not a big deal to escape into a fantasy for a little while. Then, think about how that relates to the kind of sex that you want to be having. Does your fantasy feel like it’s just a little scene that you’re watching in the background, or does it feel like it captures your full attention and pulls you out of the moment with your boyfriend? Try to get a sense of how fantasizing affects your ability to be present. The second question to consider is whether or not your fantasy is pulling you away from being with your partner in the way you want to show up at that moment.
